“Can I Touch Your Hair?”

Yeah - I ain't amused!!

I go to a university in a not-so culturally diverse area. Which isn't a massive issue to me. It's like a new adventure, where I go from the multi-cultured London, where there were other black people around me. Now, it's quite exciting meeting another black person on the street. Sometimes we chat, other times we smile, acknowledging that we are very scarce having a secret chuckle about it. It's a strange phenomenon I've found, I'm not sure how to explain it. My Mum calls it 'fictive kinship', a sense of brotherhood and community with this stranger.

Going to a university in a not-so culturally diverse area has its downs, however. The 'casual racism' which I sometimes don't find all the casual. Finding people don't understand why I don't like the rain because it gets my hair wet. Not being able to find make-up in my shade! The struggle can sometimes be immense.

The worse experience, however, occurred today, and must be document and the word spread that this is NOT OKAY!! I was waiting in Argos, ready to buy an Ottoman, after having a really good day of shopping. In the cue, a white man, who had been staring at my head, then asked “Can I Touch Your Hair?”

I turned to him, probably an expression of utter shock written across my face. I didn't know if he was being serious or not – but he was. He asked again, and I shock my head at him. There was no maybe in this situation. “No. You cannot touch my hair.”

“But it's so cool!” He insisted, raising his hand whilst I took a step back, further shock hitting me.

“No.” I said again. Didn't he get the message?! He had a woman friend/girlfriend sniggering next to him. Were they high, mental, had they never seen dreadlocks before? I was angry and upset. I wasn't an object that could be touched and gaped and awed it. Sure, I don't mind compliments to my hair. I compliment other people's hair if I find it fascinating or beautiful. I may ask questions about it, but never, no matter what race, gender, culture, have I asked a stranger if I could touch their hair!!! It was mortifying and I almost wanted to cry, even after he insisted I touch his hair in return.

I glared and made sure my back wasn't turned before paying for my goods and leaving, still in shock as I called my Mum and told her of this experience. It was a first, but it may not be the last. Here's hoping, that if there is next a next time, that I'll have the guts to stand up for myself further, and explain why it's not okay to ask strangers, to touch their hair. Maybe talk to me a little, exchange information, but don't you dare treat me like a walking petting zoo. Ever.

Peace Out,

Thulani x

I met this Alpaca once at a petting zoo to de-stress during exams. He has so much sass.